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[aut_nihil]

Pope doesn't go on as many missions as he once did. But he sees trouble brewing in the future, in the solo orders Carver was given, and he can't stomach staying behind when Carver might face the worst alone.

So he defies his own orders and he goes with Carver.

And things go sideways. They're outnumbered despite his best efforts and his warnings, and they're gathered up, hoods on their heads, arms tied behind their backs.

Carver's strong though. They're going to make it through this. He's going to get them through this.

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[aut_nihil]

"I can get it," he growls, but he notably makes no move to stop her or push her away. He lets her take his boots. He leans against the wall and he just breathes.

"Carver and I have to report in tomorrow," he decides. "I want us both on our feet for it."

[nootherway]

He growls like she knew he would, but doesn’t fight or shove her away. Leah works matter of factly, pulling the boots off and setting them aside. He’s not wearing socks, she realizes, and the boots aren’t his size. It speaks to certain things.

She doesn’t ask. Just sets the boots out of the way and offers her arm out again. “The corpsmen will know.”

These things are difficult to hide. There aren’t many ways to get these injuries.

Leah exhales. She’ll need them both upright and energized. “We still have that coke from the last assignment?”

Sometimes they can’t afford to sleep. The Army looks away.

[aut_nihil]

"Not if we don't need a full exam." There are ways of getting out of that. If you argue loud enough, make yourself a big enough pain in the ass.

"I can get some." He doesn't look forward to the migraine it will inevitably give him but better that than being pulled apart by the higher ups.

[nootherway]

“I’ll pull the duty roster. Get someone to sign off.”

One of their own, or someone she can threaten or bribe into compliance.

Leah nods just once. “Good. Do it. Just enough to get through the debrief.”

She hates that it’s necessary. But you cannot show pain in moments like this and they both know what comes next. What needs to be done.

[aut_nihil]

He needs help getting undressed but can't bring himself to ask for it.

"You should get back to Carver," he says quietly. "I don't want him alone when he's awake...I mean it." Something in how distant Carver was during the escape scares him.

[nootherway]

Leah exhales, running a hand through her hair. She's so very tired of all this, but the work remains. Her boys are hurt.

"Freya's with him," she murmurs, meeting Pope's gaze. "We'll get you sorted and then I'll sit with him."

But first, she needs to tend to Pope. She watches him for a moment, then sighs. He hasn't tried to strip. She has a feeling it's not out of modesty.

"Brace against me," she orders softly, and reaches for his pants. If they don't talk about it, then it's one step closer to forgetting it happened.

[aut_nihil]

He wants to snap at her. To send her away, to not have her touch him. But the adrenaline is long gone and he can barely walk, let alone bend, and he can't stand to have this mess on him any longer.

He holds onto her shoulders. He stares hard at the wall.

[nootherway]

She does her work silently. She gets his pants off and if she swallows hard at what she finds beneath them, Leah doesn't let herself flinch. She doesn't ask, in the end, because what is there to ask beyond the obvious? What would she accomplish by making him say the words they both already know?

Sometimes, bad things happen. The world isn't fair and she hates how often she's been obliged to learn that lesson. That she's been forced to harden herself against the inevitability of it all.

"Brace on me," she repeats, and she guides him under the water. If her pajamas get wet, then that's just what happens.

[aut_nihil]

He feels weak and he feels small and he feels like he felt as a child when his father would beat him. And that's not Leah's fault but he wants to yell at her as if it is.

Instead he gets under the water and it runs red and pink under him and he pulls her to him and just hugs her rough with one arm, half-leaning on her for support.

[nootherway]

"I have you," she murmurs, and she does not let him go as the water drums down on them. "Sir."

She holds Pope tight, breathing slow, bearing the weight. Watching the water swirl down the drain.

[aut_nihil]

The blood on his chest and stomach was so thick it's congealed into a crust, and he takes the soap finally and scrubs hard at it until it comes loose.

"I'm all right," he grunts, though he still has hand on her, steadying himself. Little by little he comes clean.

He feels foolish holding onto her and makes himself let go. "You said there were clothes?" If not he supposes they can wash these pants.

[nootherway]

Leah just breathes, and braces, and holds him steady. Pope is the strongest man she knows, a survivor to the core. He taught her the importance of endurance in turn, one of the few men who's ever cared for a thing she might offer them. She loves him the way she imagines daughters are supposed to love their fathers.

"I keep spares," she agrees, ignoring his nakedness. Ignoring the wounds and the signs of what was done washing down the drain until he finally lets go and she only watches him a moment before stepping out of the water. She won't let him fall, but she knows, too, that he wouldn't appreciate her coddling.

Even so, Leah stays close.

"Sometimes the kids stay with me."

[aut_nihil]

He turns the water off and gets a towel and finally, semi clothed in something that isn't soaked in blood and other things, he can give her a tiny smile. He can pretend she isn't dripping wet now because he'd needed a goddamn hug, like something small and weak, like a bitch.

He can pretend he hadn't needed it and that it didn't make him feel just the tiniest bit better.

"They call you Big Sister." And he'd known he would be safe here and there aren't words for what that means to him.

He takes a cautious step but no, he still needs support. So he leans on her, and he doesn't feel anger about it this time. "I want to sleep near Carver."

[nootherway]

"They do," she agrees, pulling Pope's arm around her.

Deep down, Leah knows she should make them call her sergeant and cut the sentiment away lest she (and they) be accused of improper relationships. It's not her place to be friends with the men and women she commands when she so often walks them to their deaths. But a quieter part of her craves it, treasures it, holds it close to her heart. They are her boys, her girls, and she does what she can.

"I'll get you clothes," she continues, leading him back to her bedroom and the trunk she keeps of spare men's clothes. "And then I'll put you down on the camp bed next to him. Freya will keep watch."

She won't sleep, Leah knows. She'll make phone calls and run logistics. Get ahead of the problem.

[aut_nihil]

It's work to get dressed. He can barely bend at all even after the heat of the shower loosened some muscles. But he gets dressed and he feels human again, finally. He can go back to ignoring what's happened. He can survive it.

He knows Leah probably had just laid down to sleep, and knows too that she won't sleep again until tomorrow night at the earliest, and he feels bad about it but also so grateful. He helped train her for these emergencies. She'll handle things.

"I asked him. Carver," he says. "I told him I'm starting the Reapers when I retire. He wants in."

[nootherway]

"You're moving up the timetable," Leah observes, surprised and not surprised in the same breath. It makes sense, doesn't it? Why wait? She has a few months left, same as Carver. The question had been hovering all of them. Once, she intended to go career. She'd even considered, in an idle sort of way, applying to one of the service academies. But the Army disappointed her, as most things have in the end.

As all things have, she realizes, except Pope and her boys. Her girls.

She steadies him and moves him back out to the living room with Carver, leaning him against the wall as she gets the camp bed out.

"I'll need your help to keep my dog," she says simply. "I'm with you, of course."

The Army will try to keep Freya. Leah doesn't intend to let her go.

[aut_nihil]

"I'll pull some strings." He looks at Freya and can't help the way his expression softens to see her curled up with Carver. "We're not leaving her behind. We'll get her some real body armor too."

Real gear for all his boys and girls.

"Delaney's too."

[nootherway]

Leah bites her lip, ducking her head to hide her smile. Even under these circumstances, she can still smile. They have a future, don't they? They're strongest together. Even amidst all the bullshit and the horror, she has a family that won't abandon her, won't ever leave her. And she will fight to the death to keep them.

"Good." She clears her throat, setting up the camp bed next to the couch. Carver's out cold, Freya's head resting on his chest. She lays out blankets and the softest pillow she has, and then she offers her arm out to Pope - knowing, without needing to ask, that it hurts him to bed. To lie down. "Try and get some rest, sir."

[aut_nihil]

If Carver was awake--if anyone else was around--he'd have just stayed standing a while longer. But he takes the help offered and he manages to make only a small, kicked sound as he goes down onto the cot.

He shifts and twists until he finds a position that doesn't hurt as bad.

"Get Washington here," he says. "And Anders. It'll do Carver good to have them here."

[nootherway]

At least Pope doesn't fight her on this. She'd worried that he would. That he'd order her to make a pot of coffee and immediately shift into logistics, trying to solve this when he's still badly injured and dead on his feet. Carver was in shock and the wounds she saw on Pope, on both of them -

Leah eases him down and pulls the blankets around him to keep him warm, doing it quickly before he can fuss.

"I'll get them here," she promises, even though Anders isn't one of theirs and she wonders at the insistence Pope has when saying his name.

Anders isn't theirs, no, but he's Carver's. And she wonders if Pope knows that.

"Just rest, sir."

[aut_nihil]

That relationship won't be allowed in the Reapers. It's not allowed in the Army, but that hasn't stopped Carver--but he's already decided that if Anders joins them, that relationship will end.

But that's for later. That's for months from now, after Carver is healed up and discharged.

"Wake me up at 0400," he murmurs, unaware that's only an hour away. He's so tired. He's in so much pain. But he got them here, and for the moment they're safe. He'll handle the rest in the morning.

[nootherway]

"Mhmm-hmm."

She touches his shoulder very briefly, then stands with a sigh. Carver hasn't moved. He's gone quiet and still, breathing evened out. They'll need to get him cleaned up in the morning. See if he can walk. Get both of them in fresh clothes, then get enough food and drugs in them to pass inspection.

It'll be a long day.

Leah breathes out. She goes to make coffee.

[aut_nihil]

He doesn't dream. It's a miracle, all things considered, but he sleeps and he sleeps and he wakes when the sun peeks in through the curtains. He ought to get right up but he doesn't, yet. Just lays still, thinking. Planning.

[nootherway]

She lets them both sleep an hour longer. Pope, no doubt, will snarl at her for it, but they need the rest.

In time, she comes over with two bowls of sweetened oatmeal, and coffee.

"Try and eat something," she murmurs. "How's Carver?"

[aut_nihil]

He gets up--painfully, with enough of a struggle it's humiliating, and he wishes he could kill those motherfuckers all over again but slower.

"It's not 0400," he says, because of course he does, but it's Shaw. She gets a pass.

"He's still out," he says, and reaches out, touching Carver's forehead, checking for fever. Worrying.