It's worse without pain. He knows that. But he can't risk injuring Carver, so where does that leave them?

He controls his breathing. Thinks of other places, other people. Thinks of a pretty bartender he'd flirted with a few months ago, the last time he'd thought of being with a woman at all. He wishes now he'd followed up on that. Taken her home, enjoyed her, instead of just letting it be a moment of flirtation after a long day.

Just go away in your head, he wills Carver.