In a different moment, in a different place, Carver knows he wouldn't hesitate. The adrenaline drop would take him down, exhaustion killing even the most insidious of his nightmares.
Here, he stares down at the mattress and the filth there. The messed up sheets. The spots where he bite his hands and blood stained the blankets. Where the enemy held him down and -
He swallows hard. I can't, he almost says, please don't make me, I can't.
Don't be weak, Carver orders himself. Don't be a bitch. He swallows hard. Tells himself it's like being back in Korengal. You didn't get a choice there, either.
He shivers. And then he forces himself to lie down, to curl himself onto his side because he can't be down on his stomach now even though he thinks it would hurt less. He can't.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2024-06-10 01:10 am (UTC)Here, he stares down at the mattress and the filth there. The messed up sheets. The spots where he bite his hands and blood stained the blankets. Where the enemy held him down and -
He swallows hard. I can't, he almost says, please don't make me, I can't.
Don't be weak, Carver orders himself. Don't be a bitch. He swallows hard. Tells himself it's like being back in Korengal. You didn't get a choice there, either.
He shivers. And then he forces himself to lie down, to curl himself onto his side because he can't be down on his stomach now even though he thinks it would hurt less. He can't.